Radio-Trottoir Feed: Kabila eyeing 2 Bandundu Province technocrats for premiership

According to Kinshasa Radio-Trottoir, Joseph Kabila is eyeing two
Bandundu Province technocrats for premiership of the oncoming
government: either 1) His own deputy chief of staff in charge of
political, legal and socio-cultural issues, Marie-Louise Mayuma
Kasende; or 2) Olivier Kamitatu, the current Planning Minister.

Both are MP-elects from Bandundu Province. (Kasende's sister,
Joséphine-Charlotte Mayuma Kala, several times minister under Mobutu
and current vice-predident of the party Union des Libéraux Démocrates
Chrétiens (ULDC), recently failed in her own parliamentary bid in the
constituency of Kinshasa/Mont Amba.)

I don't buy this scenario at all. If it's true that the next prime
minister has to necessarily come from Bandundu, which has been
intrumental in having Kabila re-elected, the engine of the incumbent's
major win in the province was PALU. Ms. Kasende is from Kabila's own
PPRD party; and Kamitatu is the leader of the small ARC party, whose
provincial and national reach doesn't even come close to that of PALU.
The parliamentary freak win of ARC member and Bas-Congo native Konde
Vila Kikanda in Goma (North-Kivu) is just that: a freak win, due to
the popularity Kikanda had earned there when he was governor under
Mobutu.

It wouldn't make much political sense for Kabila to jeopardize the
understanding he'd developed with the formidable force of PALU over
the past six years. An embittered PALU could break away from its
alliance in parliament with the Presidential Majority and set up a
caucus that could render stuff ungovernable for Kabila.

Besides, Kamitatu is a loose cannon and a mercurial character. He and
his three close associates within the Presidential Majority
coalition--South-Kivu MP Modeste Bahati, current Conservation Minister
José Endundo, and presidential candidate and MP-elect Antipas Mbusa
Nyamwisi--have often caused grief to Kabila with their strident
dissent, for which they've once been fustigated personally by the
president at his Kingakati farm and branded as the "Gang of Four" by
pro-Kabila media.

My guess is that Kabila will keep PALU member Adolphe Muzito as PM--a
depressing prospect for Kinois who blame him for their woes and lack
of improvement in their daily lot. Failing that, he'd choose someone
else but from the same PALU party. If he were to do that, why not
appoint a woman as the country's historic first?

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End of Teodorin Obiang's bacchanalias on Avenue Foch with record impoundment of "ill-gotten" property

Amid frantic protests voiced by Equatoguinean authorities in "utter
indignation" in the face of "illegitimate persecution," according to
the Parisian daily Libération, after 10 days of executing a search
warrant, the French body aptly called "Office Central pour la
Répression de la Grande Délinquance Financière (OCRGDF)"--central
office for the prosecution of financial high crimes--impounded this
past Thursday "200 m3 of valuables, i.e. the equivalent of three
shipping containers" from the posh 6-story (5 French stories by
discounting the ground floor) private mansion (market value: €500m!)
of 41-year-old Teodorin Obiang aka Prince Teodorin--the son of
Equatorial Guinea's dictator and kleptocrat Teodoro Obiang Nguema,
68--at 42 Avenue Foch in the 16th Arrondissement.

(The massive property has 101 sprawling rooms "complete," according to
The Guardian (Mon 6 Feb 2012), "with disco, spa room, hair salon,
gold- and jewel-encrusted taps, lift, pastel pink dining room and a
breathtaking balcony-view of the Arc de Triomphe." It's rumored that
Teodorin Obiang used to have bacchanalias and orgiastic parties at his
Parisian mansion.)

The impoundment is a major victory for the French section of the
London-based NGO Transparency International and other watchdog groups
that sued in Paris in 2008 three African autocrats (and their family
members) whose official salaries couldn't justify their real estate
portfolios and princely lifestyles in France: Teodoro Obiang Nguema
Mbasogo; Congo-Brazzaville's Denis Sassou-Nguesso; and Gabon's late
president Omar Bongo and its current leader Ali Bongo... At the
beginning of the case, French government lawyers attempted to have the
case thrown out of court for lack of merits. (Little wonder then that
a few years back the Angolan government decreed that Transparency
International investigators were to be arrested and treated as spies
from hostile intelligence agencies!)

Two of the above leaders and/or their associates (who more often than
not are also the keplocrats' own family members) were mentioned in the
2010 U.S. Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations of the
Committee on Homeland and Security report on financial malfeasance by
African leaders and referred therein as "Obiang Case Study" and "Bongo
Case Study." And late last year, the US was seeking to seize $70m of
ill-gotten monies and properties from Teodorin Obiang--including a
$38.5m Malibu mansion.

The seized valuables at Teodorin Obiang's Paris mansion shows the
mind-boggling profligacy and callousness of these nefarious characters
when their fellow citizens wallow in subhuman squalor. Item: a €3m
clock! Item: cases of bottles of vintage wine costing several
thousands of dollars a bottle (such as Petrus, romanée-conti, etc.).
Missing item: a Claude Monet painting bought €12 m among the 107 other
paintings bought by Teodorin at the auction of the private art
collection of the late famous French designer Yves Saint-Laurent!

Teodorin's "fleet of (...) turbo-charged, yellow, red and blue" (The
Guardian) Ferraris, Bugattis, Maseratis, Porsches, etc., were already
impounded last September and in mid-February of this year.

(Well, this madness just proves the point I made a while back on this
blog in support of British soldier-of-fortune Simon Mann, whom I
called a "Picaresque Saint," who wanted to put out of their misery
Teodorin, his father, and the rest of that cretinous family.)

Next in line for this kind of shameful public display in Paris
featuring pathological impulse buying spree will certainly be
Congo-Brazzaville's Denis Sassou-Nguesso.

Sassou-Nguesso's main foible is to dress smart and expensive--just
like the best of the "sapeurs" from both river banks of the Congo
River (Brazzaville and Kinshasa).

According to The Guardian article quoted above, Sassou-Nguesso is
dressed by Senegalese designer Pape Ibrahima N'Diaye aka Monsieur
Pape--"a Paris institution." The Guardian also refers to the
newly-published book "The Scandal of the Ill-Gotten Gains" by Thomas
Hofnung and Xavier Harel in which "the authors reveal a note by
Tracfin, the French anti-money laundering authority, which states that
in April 2010, Sassou N'Guesso ordered 91 suits from Pape for
€276,000. A month earlier, in March 2010, he had bought 48 shirts for
€24,000. In one year, in the 12 months from November 2009, Sassou
N'Guesso spent more than €652,000 on clothes there."

In Kinshasa, Radio-Trottoir is unimpressed by the move against
Teodorin Obiang by the French Office Central pour la Répression de la
Grande Délinquance Financière (OCRGDF). "They only go after dead
kleptocrats!," people commented. The most outlandish comment I heard
was the following: "France is so desperate and cash-strapped, what
with the current economic crisis, that the French are now going after
the monies of oil-rich African countries!"

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1) Acting Speaker's residence ransacked in Bas-Congo; 2) 26 UDPS MPs break ranks with leadership; and 3) National Assembly: 11 validation commissions

1) Acting Speaker's residence ransacked in Bas-Congo

The Congolese official news agency ACP reports that on Tuesday the
residence of Acting Speaker of the National Assembly Timothée Kombo
Nkisi at Madimba (Lukaya District; Bas-Congo Province) was vandalized
and thoroughly ransacked by "inciviques," that is, citizens devoid of
any sense of civic duty! (That adjective used as noun is part of DRC
political lingo. It's a catch-all term to describe all forms of
antisocial behavior and political dissent--from corruption to
"Mai-Mai" militia activities in the Kivus. On this blog, I use the
term "doppelganger anticitizens" coined by Jean Comaroff and John
Comaroff and used in another context, i.e. South Africa.)

In this instance, the "inciviques" in question are undoubtedly UDPS
members from Nkisi's constituency, angered by the latter's
participation in the new National Assembly. Last week, Tshisekedi had
expelled Nkisi from UDPS for "indiscipline."

2) 26 UDPS MPs break ranks with leadership

While Tshisekedi and UDPS members of Madimba were busy respectively
expelling Acting Speaker Timothée Kombo Nkisi from the party and
ransacking his house, at least 26 among the 42 newly elected UDPS MPs
have broken ranks with their leadership by sitting in the hemicycle of
the National Assembly.

These 26 renegades are now in the crosshairs of Tshisekedi who,
incidentally, has been given another telling moniker by
Radio-Trottoir: "Saint-Père" (Holy Father).

Well, Saint-Père should prepare himself to fire the whole batch of 42
elected MPs--or rather 40, if we take out from the list his sister and
his son. A daughter of one of those newly elected UDPS MPs recently
told one of her friends: "Dad borrowed $20,000 for his political
campaign. Would Saint-Père pay dad's loan sharks?"

In the event, cool-headedness has never prevailed in Saint-Père's
entourage. One of the scatterbrains around Saint-Père recently told
reporter Papy Maluku of the Kinshasa daily L'Avenir: "Any deputy
elected under [UDPS] banner who'd validate his [or her] mandate will
be expelled. It's not the departure of 42 deputies that would shake a
party that is 30 years old."

At age 30 UDPS is instead displaying all the egregious symptoms of
infantilism that could cripple a political party--including the most
insane personality cult: for instance, party members now wear
driver's tweed caps because Saint-Père dons one!

3) National Assembly: 11 validation commissions

Impervious to the internal woes and pangs of his former political
party and the ransacking of his home residence, Acting Speaker of the
National Assembly Timothée Kombo Nkisi is diligently working to
achieve the constitutional duties tasked to him.

One of those duties included overseeing on Monday the setting up of
the 11 commissions whose objective was to validate (within 5 days from
Monday) the elected MPs. (The leadership of those commissions was
designated according to the same constitutional rule that propelled
Nkisi at the helm of the new National Assembly: each commission is
chaired by the most senior MP belonging to it while the most junior MP
is appointed its Rapporteur.)

As the elected MPs of a specific province can't possibly work on their
own validation dossiers, the following binary combinations for the 11
provinces have been devised: 1) MPs from Bandundu work on validation
for Oriental Kasai; 2) Bas-Congo for Maniema; 3) Equateur for
South-Kivu; 4) Katanga for Equateur; 5) Occidental Kasai for
North-Kivu; 6) Oriental Kasai for Orientale; 7) Kinshasa for Katanga;
8) Maniema for Bandundu; 9) North-Kivu for Kinshasa; 10) South-Kivu
for Bas- Congo; and 11) Orientale for Occidental Kasai.

Acting Speaker Nkisi remains concerned, however, by the truancy that
plagues the new lower house, discounting the boycott by die-hard UDPS
MPs.

At the extraordinary session of Thursday, February 16, there were 350
MPs in attendance. By Monday, that number had dropped to 300. The full
house counts 500 MPs.

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UDPS excludes Acting Speaker Timothée Kombo Nkisi

It didn't take that long... UDPS just announced this evening it has
excluded acting Speaker Timothée Kombo Nkisi from the party.

The consitutional problem, for the UDPS, happens to be the
following... If an MP resigns from her or his party, she's
automatically kicked out of Parliament. If however an MP is kicked out
of her party (without her consent), she keeps her seat!

A stupid move by the UDPS, if you'd ask me... Number One: It ensues
from the above that Nkisi is keeping his seat and, hence, the interim
Speakership... Number Two: In the DRC, people vote by their guts
(literally!): by person (the candidate), by clan, by tribe, by ethnic
group, by city, by province. Not on the basis of some loony concept
such as one called "political party."

It therefore ensues that by firing from the party Nkisi, a member of
the Bakongo ethnic group, UDPS, an ethnic Baluba party, has achieved
antagonizing the entire Bas-Congo Provinve and its Bakongo tribe.

Recently this kind of mishap happened to UDPS. It was when Bandundu
voted massively for Kabila last November: MP Roger Lumbala, a Luba
ally of Tshisekedi, had, in a TV appearance, belittled the Bayaka,
the Bandundu Province tribe of the political party called PALU!

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1) Amb James Entwistle says US recognizes Kabila as Prez; 2) Farcical repetition of history; and 3) Reassembly of Parliament

1) Amb James Entwistle says US recognizes Kabila as Prez

On Wednesday, February 15, in the Q and A part of his press briefing,
US kinshasa Ambassador James F. Entwistle stated (in French): "The
position of the United States is clear: We recognize Joseph Kabila as
the President of the Democratic Republic of Congo for the next five
years. We hope that the irregularities noted on 28 November 2011 will
be avoided in the upcoming provincial, local, and other elections" (my
translation).

In the presentation half of his press conference, Amb Entwistle said
the US would encourage Congolese politicos to set an "inclusive
government."

He also urged all the parties whose members were elected MPs "to
participate" in the democratic debate in Parliament. (A not-so-veiled
allusion to the boycott of the incoming National Assembly called by
UDPS leader, Etienne Tshisekedi--see section 3 below.)

2) Farcical repetition of history

A group labeling itself Council of the Apostolate of Catholic Laity
(CALCC in its French acronym) planned a demo on Thursday, February 16.
As it happens, on February 16, 1992, a tragedy visited a Christian
anti-Mobutu demo in Kinshasa--with over three dozens demonstrators
killed, wounded and maimed when the security forces fired into the
crowd with live bullets.

The Marxian farce of the repetition of history occurred on Thursday.
Already at midday on Wednesday, sitting at his office desk at city
hall, Kinshasa Gov André Kimbuta Yango, wearing thick sunglasses (!),
appeared on national TV to warn that the demo was illegal on two
grounds: a) CALCC is an unregistered organization; and b) CALCC didn't
provide an itinerary of its demo so as to allow the police to provide
protection, supervision and containment. (By the way, Radio-Trottoir
explains the gubernatorial permanency of sunglasses by claiming that
the man is a pothead with permanent bloodshot eyes!)

Following the governor's injunction, MLC secretary general Thomas
Luhaka, who has just lost his bid to be re-elected MP, appeared on TV
to issue a call to his party members to join the demo.

On Thursday, not (?) coincidentally, as freshmen and re-elected MPs
were preparing to go to the "Palais du Peuple" to attend the
extraordinary session of the reassembly of Parliament (see section 3
below), DRC acting top cop Gen Charles Bisengimana, based on police
intelligence, had anti-riot units deployed at Kinshasa main Catholic
parishes--including at St. Joseph Parish in Matonge where the five
dozen or so demonstrators who had gathered in the premises were
quickly dispersed with flash grenades, tear gas, and plain old
billies. Two priests and one nun were arrested in the melees that
occurred at various Kinshasa parishes.

In retaliation, the Archdiocese of Kinshasa, prompted by an angry
phone call from The Vatican placed by Laurent Cardinal Monsengwo,
canceled the funeral mass that had to be celebrated in memory of MP
Augustin Katumba Mwanke at Notre-Dame-du-Congo cathedral in Lingwala
Commune. An alternative venue was found by government officials at
Kinshasa Orthodox cathedral.

While this farce could be read as a widening rift between the
government and the country's Catholic Church, several Catholic
prelates from the interior dissociated their dioceses from the
pro-opposition positions of CALCC.

3) Reassembly of Parliament

At midday on the same day, after the fog of tear gas had cleared from
Kinshasa Catholic parishes, an extraordinary session for the
reassembly of Parliament was convened at the Palais du Peuple.

The new National Assembly had to set up a temporary bureau, which has
to manage the Parliament for a month before the permanent bureau is
elected.

Out of the 500 elected or re-elected MPs, 350 were in attendance. All
but one elected UDPS MPs had boycotted the session.

According to the constitution, the managing bureau has to be headed by
the most senior elected MP in the capacity of acting Speaker, flanked
by two secretaries who have to be the most junior MPs.

It so happens that the most senior elected MP is UDPS Kombo Nkisi
(Bas-Congo), 76 (born June 26, 1936). And the two most junior members
were both born in 1982, respectively on July 10 and October 10 of that
year: PALU Patrick Muyaya (Kinshasa) and Mutula Dialo Coco. Muyaya
happens to be the son-in-law of PM Adolphe Muzito, who is also a PALU
stalwart.

In his speech, MP Nkisi struck a somewhat discordant note vis-a-vis
the UDPS leadership by stating:

"Thoughtlessness, complacency and compromise of principles must be
banned for the benefit of rigor, morals, respect for the law, for the
common good and the love for the Congolese people."

(Well, who's gonna cast the first stone at MP Nkisi? Just consider the
perks that will go his (and his two secretaries') way for a month: a
motorcade with 3 jeeps with 12 cops each; a suite at the Grand Hotel;
free gourmet food for the entire family from the Grand Hotel's
cordon-bleu chef; 3 SUVs; and, last but not least, massive running
costs for the bureau.)

The ordinary session planned for Friday was postponed for next Monday.

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Gen Yehudit Ben-Natan (Israeli female senior officer)'s antedated response to Sen Rick Santorum's fake chivalry

Last week's end, in order to stymie the massive flak he got from his
comments on the inadvisability of the presence of female warriors
(among male warriors) in frontline combat situations, Republican
presidential hopeful Rick Santorum "clarified" his statement by
telling NBC Today's host Ann Curry:

"The issue is … how men react to seeing women in harm's way or
potentially being injured or in a vulnerable position and not be
concerned about accomplishing the mission."

Well, two years ago Gen Yehudit Ben-Natan, Israeli female senior
officer and a "feminist warrior" for women's "right to fight,"
(rightly--pardon the alliteration!) rejected that male chauvinistic
chivalry in saying:

"The heart and soul of the army is in combat, and if we are in the
army we need to be at its heart. Let there be tanks with all-female
crews, and all-woman missile batteries, because we can do it and we
must stop allocating duties by gender."

(The quote comes from a June 2010 article of The Guardian. At the time
a hoo-haa had erupted in the Royal Navy over the wisdom of allowing
women to serve as submariners.)

The point being: as the right to fight or (alternatively?) the freedom
(?) to get slain or the choice (?) for killing fellow human beings on
such tenuous grounds as patriotism has always been recognized (with
sexist impunity) to male citizens, I don't see on what reasonable
grounds it should be denied (homicidal and suicidal?) women!

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DRC Prez comes out of seclusion to appear at funeral wake of MP Augustin Katumba Mwanke in Kinshasa

Radio-Trottoir speculations about Joseph Kabila's whereabouts and
declining health came to a screeching halt in the downpour of Monday
afternoon when the prez came out of seclusion to appear at the funeral
wake of his long-time aide, friend, and fellow Katangan MP Augustin
Katumba Mwanke. The wake was held at the Kinshasa posh villa of the
deceased. Mwanke died in a plane crash on Sunday, at Bukavu airport
(the crewmembers of the doomed flight are reported to be American).

TV footage of Kabila's reappearance also featured Israeli mogul Dan
Gertler sitting two seats on the left of the prez, separated from the
latter by PM Adolphe Muzito.

Also in attendance were Kabila's two siblings: his twin sister Jaynet,
and his baby brother Zoe--both recently elected MPs.

DRC first lady Olive Lembe was shown on TV today sitting next to
Mwanke's widow at the funeral mass celebrated at the Catholic
cathedral of Lubumbashi, in Katanga, where the remains of the deceased
were flown on Monday (for burial at Pweto, the home district of
Mwanke). Kabila's mother, Maman Sifa, also attended the funeral mass.

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A tale of two separate beatings: 1) UDPS Secretary General Jacquemain Shabani beaten by immigration agents; and 2) Gen Tango-Fort orders beating of Koffi Olomide

1) UDPS Secretary General Jacquemain Shabani beaten by immigration
agents at N'Djili International Airport

UDPS Secretary General Jacquemain Shabani, who was about to board a
plane bound for Europe, was arrested by immigration officials in the
night of Tuesday, February 7, at Kinshasa N'Djili International
Airport. He was released at 2 AM Kinshasa Time (GMT + 1) on Wednesday,
February 8, long after the departure of the plane.

According to Communication and Media Minister Lambert Mende, officials
found in Shabani's possession a passport that didn't belong to him!

Said Mende:

"I know that basically the administration of migration services
searched Mr. Shabani just as any passenger is searched at any airport
in the world. They found [in his luggage] a passport that didn't
belong to him [...] and they questioned him [about that passport]
before releasing him."

But according to Bernard Moleka, Tshisekedi's chief of staff and UDPS
spokesperson, while in custody, Shabani was so severely beaten up by
counterintelligence agents who were interrogating him that he was
rushed to a clinic upon his release.

Adding:

"After a night spent [by Shabani]under [medical] observation and
[after undergoing] different examinations of vital signs as well as
X-rays to check whether there were no broken bones following his
beating, the physician determined that he could get out of the
hospital and go home. He now simply awaits to go on on his itinerary
to Germany."

Moleka's statement is to be taken, however, with a pinch of salt, as
these days UDPS officials are prone to making fanciful or outright
wild statements.

As a matter-of-fact, intelligence sources claim that Shabani was only
roughed up when he resisted arrest. They are also baffled by UDPS'
outcry over the arrest.

"It's not like they didn't see it coming," an intelligence official
told me. "This is a party of madmen whose leader, a major crank,
proclaimed himself the president of the Republic. And they expect to
get VIP treatment at N'Djili? C'mon!"

According to UDPS sources, Shabani has to attend a conference on the
DRC in Germany. But before he does so, he needs to get back his
passport, which was seized by immigration officials.

2) Gen Gabriel Amisi Kumba aka Tango-Fort orders beating of soukouss
star Koffi Olomide

Take with a grain of salt anything you hear on Radio-Trottoir,
Kinshasa grapevine... Sometimes, even reports from apparently
legitimate media might turn out to be deceitful. Item: I relayed here
the news of Joseph Kabila's return to the capital. It now appears that
the prez is still missing from Kin--a long absence that prompted a
daily paper to quip about Kabila's "optical silence"! Though reports
of Kabila's return weren't that far-fetched: Kabila's younger brother
Zoe rode from N'Djili Airport with the presidential motorcade!

That's why I held back for so long writing about the persistent rumor
about the beating of Koffi Olomide, ordered by Gen Gabriel Amisi Kumba
aka Tango-Fort, at Kinshasa Grand Hotel, on January 31. Now that the
news of the beating is finally though belatedly in print--in an
article penned by reporter Jordache Diala in the daily La
Prospérité--I feel I can now comment on it.

Jordache Diala's article is cryptic at best as it only says that
"supporters [of football team Vita Club] were angry at [Koffi Olomide]
[and consequently] one of the windshields of the artist's [hummer] was
damaged" in the parking lot of the Grand Hotel.

But thus is one of those rare instances where rumor offers a far
better "rounded" narrative of an event.

Indeed, according to Radio-Trottoir, Vita-Club had just returned from
a training stint in Brazil and organized--as Congolese are wont to--a
party dubbed an "exchange of New Year's greetings" at the Grand Hotel.

The party featured Koffi Olomide, a fan of Vita Club himself, and his
band called the "Quartier Latin."

The president of Vita Club is none other than Gen Gabriel Amisi Kumba
aka Tango-Fort, erstwhile associate of renegade Gen Laurent Nkunda,
and currently number two most senior officer of the FARDC: he is the
infantry chief-of-staff. Now, Gen Tango-Fort is diminutive
person--height-wise.

At one point, Koffi Olomide had to call on the stage and one by one
members of the managing committee of Vita Club so as to introduce them
to the public.

When the turn of Gen Tango-Fort came to mount the podium, Koffi
Olomide grabbed his hand and raised his arm--as he did with other
managing committee members.

Except that Koffi Olomide seemed (or acted as if) baffled by the
shortness of Gen Tango-Fort!

"Heeeeeere's Gen Tango-Fort," Koffi Olomide exclaimed. "Wow! Is this
THE Tango-Fort? Tango-Fort? Amazing!"

And all the while, Koffi Olomide wouldn't let go of the hand of Gen
Tango-Fort who, tired of being subjected to this indignity, finally
snatched his hand!

Furious at being ridiculed, Gen Tango-Fort then ordered his bodyguards
to teach a lesson to Koffi Olomide, his dancers, and his band of
jokers during the intermission.

Fortunately for Koffi Olomide, Gen Tango-Fort had only a half-dozen
bodyguards around him that evening. When blows started raining on
Koffi Olomide and his band, the musician's own bodyguards interposed
and the staff of Grand Hotel quickly exfiltrated the "offenders." The
bodyguards then went to the parking lot where they proceeded to
vandalize Koffi Olomide's hummer.

According to reporter Jordache Diala of La Prospérité, both sides are
now keeping mum over the incident.

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AFRICOM to train a special forces battalion in Kin amid growing skepticism of top brass

The Deputy Chief of Mission at the U.S. Embassy in Kinshasa, Samuel
Laeuchli, met last weekend DRC Defense and Veterans Minister, Charles
Mwando Nsimba.

DCM Laeuchli told the media AFRICOM is planning on training (at an
unspecified date) a special forces battalion in Kinshasa. Which is
odd, insofar as there's already an AFRICOM training center at
Kisangani.

A senior FARDC HQ staff officer to whom I spoke today about the
AFRICOM project was particularly incensed. He strongly believes
there's a conspiracy afoot to weaken DRC in the "looming water wars."

According to him, a conflict over Congo's water resources would soon
break out in which the DRC would find itself terribly unprepared.
Instead of building up a "republican army, politicians" are instead
going along with incoherent security sector reforms with no
sustainable follow-ups.

He said that, for instance, in lieu of building up on earlier brigade
creation projects, brigades have been instead torn to pieces,
regiments are now being built from scratch, and troops moved around
with not enough time to build the necessary "esprit de corps."

"Our borders are porous," he went on to say. "From Katanga to
Bas-Congo, nothing! No meaningful military dissuasive force! Instead
of building an army that would decisively respond to threats, they're
building these tiny commando units that would be meaningless if, say,
Rwanda were to strike one day. If hit by hostile forces today, the
only thing we'd do is to whimper and whine at the UN Security
Council!"

If training commando units is all "politicians" care about, he
wondered, then why not reopen the Kota-Koli commando training center
in Equateur Province? He said: "After all, Togolese, Chadians,
Rwandans and Burundians were once trained at Kota-Koli by us! There
are Congolese military instructors around doing nothing! To just show
you that politicians are joking with security issues, the entire
Congolese army is short on fuel right now. Not a drop of gasoline!"

He said that under Mobutu there was a coherent "division-of-labor" by
Western powers in the training of the then Zairian army. The US
provided logistical assistance; the Belgians infantry and commando
training; the Italians aviation assistance and pilots' training in the
air force; and so on...

"A tragic joke, the army today," he concluded.

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My Android phone stolen: Beware of 419 Nigerian-type scams using my name

Depressing! My sleek Android Samsung Infuse was stolen on public
transport in Kinshasa. It did unfortunately contain links to 3 of my
email accounts, to my Twitter page, as well as an address book with
many contacts.

I scrambled however to change my passwords as soon as the theft occurred.

Should anyone of you get an email or a frantic phone call alleging
that I'm stranded in the boonies and in need of a splodge of dollars,
it'd be a blatant 419 Nigerian-type scam!

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A cabal in progress: Greek-Congolese opposition politico Pierre-Jacques Chalupa jailed for "fraudulent" nationality

As the saw goes, politics is a cut-throat business. And Congolese
politics is even meaner and dirtier than mean politics in many other
places. And in this particular case, it has a fecal whiff!

Consider the cabal now in progress against businessman turned
politician Pierre-Jacques Chalupa, a Greek immigrant who has lived in
Kinshasa so long he's now a Congolese through and through. With, as
his lawyer claims, immigration documents to prove he's one! And even
if he didn't have those documents, the man got nowhere else to go: his
entire adult life was spent here!

A vocal anti-establishment politico and a darling of the opposition
media, Chalupa is the president of a duly registered political party
called "Action pour la Démocratie et le Développement au Congo" (ADD
Congo).

In 2006, Chalupa was elected MP in Kinshasa, but his career at the
National Assembly was short-lived: his win was invalidated by the
Supreme Court of Justice following a challenge filed by a political
rival.

In this election cycle, Chalupa, an MP candidate, was among the most
visible and pugnacious supporters of Tshisekedi. During the electoral
campaign, he was once arrested for putting up a pro-Tshisekedi
billboard at Victoire square. The police later gave a rather lame
explanation of the arrest: Chalupa was disrupting road traffic at rush
hours!

And in the end Chalupa's unwavering support for Tshisekedi might have
rubbed some powerful bozos the wrong way.

On Thursday, February 2, Chalupa was remanded in custody at Kinshasa
Makala Prison for acquiring "fraudulent" Congolese nationality. In
fact, according to news reports, he's been asked to prove two things:
1) his Congolese nationality; and 2) the "exclusivity" of his
Congolese nationality--meaning that he'd still be in trouble if he's
found to be holding his European Union passport!

These are some of the stupidest charges to ever be filed under the
equally stupid nationality laws in a country where well-known
politicians happen to be in the same predicament as Chalupa but go
about their daily businesses unmolested... Moral of the story: never
ever cross these MOFOS!

Read More

A cabal in progress: Greek-Congolese opposition politico Pierre-Jacques Chalupa jailed for "fraudulent" nationality

As the saw goes, politics is a cut-throat business. And Congolese
politics is even meaner and dirtier than mean politics in many other
places. And in this particular case, it has a fecal whiff!

Consider the cabal now in progress against businessman turned
politician Pierre-Jacques Chalupa, a Greek immigrant who has lived in
Kinshasa so long he's now a Congolese through and through. With, as
his lawyer claims, immigration documents to prove he's one! And even
if he didn't have those documents, the man got nowhere else to go: his
entire adult life was spent here!

A vocal anti-establishment politico and a darling of the opposition
media, Chalupa is the president of a duly registered political party
called "Action pour la Démocratie et le Développement au Congo" (ADD
Congo).

In 2006, Chalupa was elected MP in Kinshasa, but his career at the
National Assembly was short-lived: his win was invalidated by the
Supreme Court of Justice following a challenge filed by a political
rival.

In this election cycle, Chalupa, an MP candidate, was among the most
visible and pugnacious supporters of Tshisekedi. During the electoral
campaign, he was once arrested for putting up a pro-Tshisekedi
billboard at Victoire square. The police later gave a rather lame
explanation of the arrest: Chalupa was disrupting road traffic at rush
hours!

And in the end Chalupa's unwavering support for Tshisekedi might have
rubbed some powerful bozos the wrong way.

On Thursday, February 2, Chalupa was remanded in custody at Kinshasa
Makala Prison for acquiring "fraudulent" Congolese nationality. In
fact, according to news reports, he's been asked to prove two things:
1) his Congolese nationality; and 2) the "exclusivity" of his
Congolese nationality--meaning that he'd still be in trouble if he's
found to be holding his European Union passport!

These are some of the stupidest charges to ever be filed under the
equally stupid nationality laws in a country where well-known
politicians happen to be in the same predicament as Chalupa but go
about their daily businesses unmolested... Moral of the story: never
ever cross these MOFOS!

Read More

A cabal in progress: Greek-Congolese opposition politico Pierre-Jacques Chalupa jailed for "fraudulent" nationality

As the saw goes, politics is a cut-throat business. And Congolese
politics is even meaner and dirtier than mean politics in many other
places. And in this particular case, it has a fecal whiff!

Consider the cabal now in progress against businessman turned
politician Pierre-Jacques Chalupa, a Greek immigrant who has lived in
Kinshasa so long he's now a Congolese through and through. With, as
his lawyer claims, immigration documents to prove he's one! And even
if he didn't have those documents, the man got nowhere else to go: his
entire adult life was spent here!

A vocal anti-establishment politico and a darling of the opposition
media, Chalupa is the president of a duly registered political party
called "Action pour la Démocratie et le Développement au Congo" (ADD
Congo).

In 2006, Chalupa was elected MP in Kinshasa, but his career at the
National Assembly was short-lived: his win was invalidated by the
Supreme Court of Justice following a challenge filed by a political
rival.

In this election cycle, Chalupa, an MP candidate, was among the most
visible and pugnacious supporters of Tshisekedi. During the electoral
campaign, he was once arrested for putting up a pro-Tshisekedi
billboard at Victoire square. The police later gave a rather lame
explanation of the arrest: Chalupa was disrupting road traffic at rush
hours!

And in the end Chalupa's unwavering support for Tshisekedi might have
rubbed some powerful bozos the wrong way.

On Thursday, February 2, Chalupa was remanded in custody at Kinshasa
Makala Prison for acquiring "fraudulent" Congolese nationality. In
fact, according to news reports, he's been asked to prove two things:
1) his Congolese nationality; and 2) the "exclusivity" of his
Congolese nationality--meaning that he'd still be in trouble if he's
found to be holding his European Union passport!

These are some of the stupidest charges to ever be filed under the
equally stupid nationality laws in a country where well-known
politicians happen to be in the same predicament as Chalupa but go
about their daily businesses unmolested... Moral of the story: never
ever cross these MOFOS!

Read More

CENI wraps up publication of election results

CENI wrapped up the publication of legislative election results late
in the evening of yesterday, Wednesday, February 1.

According to AFP, Joseph Kabila's cartel of political parties won a
clear majority, with 260 seats out of a total of 500 seats.

Within the "Presidential Majority," PPRD, Kabila's own party, won 62
seats, thus confirming its position as the country's strongest
party--though it is somehow apparently weakened when compared to the
111 seats it won in the 2006 legislative elections.

I say "apparently" since just before the elections PPRD politicians
created a host of makeshift political parties, a smokescreen,
according to their political foes, behind which to take cover from
voters' fatigue and anger directed at the "unpopular" PPRD.
Smokescreen or not, the tactic worked as many of those parties saw
their candidates elected or re-elected.

Etienne Tshisekedi's UDPS wrests from Jean-Pierre Bemba's MLC (22
seats) the flagship of the opposition with 41 seats. The issue of
whether those newly elected UDPS MPs would boycott the National
Assembly still hangs in the air.

Vital Kamerhe's party UNC is the third political force with 16 seats.

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