1. Latest Radio-Trottoir Narratives
Radio-Trottoir [Radio-Sidewalk] is the vestigial Congo grapevine. It's busy producing ever sensational narratives. For instance, according to one narrative, the Raïs is busy these days with road works in the capital—including the above recently inaugurated monument to Joseph Kasavubu (also spelled Kasa-Vubu), the first president of the DRC, at the Kimpwanza Roundabout, in the aptly named Commune Kasa-Vubu where the man was once a burgomaster—for the simple reason that he wants to buy out votes for the upcoming 2011 elections, particularly given the dismal results the President got in Kinshasa in the 2006 presidential election.
Indeed, strange tales circulate these days on the channels of Radio-Trottoir, some of those peddled even by intellectuals. The other day, I went out to the Matonge neighborhood to watch a World Cup match. (Among the famous 'Chantiers' of the Rais, electricity seems to be lagging behind: Délestage or power cut is frequent, particularly in my neighborhood. On Wednesday I had to follow the match Spain-Germany on BBC radio). At the "nganda" (sidewalk bar) where I was watching the game, I happened to meet an old acquaintance, a College graduate and erstwhile roving ambassador of Mobutu. I couldn't believe the "tales from the crypt" or right from "The Thousand Nights and One Night" the man was telling me about the head of the Enyele insurgents, Ibrahim Mangbau, and father of the insurgent-sorcerer Udjani.
The Kinois had given Ibrahim the moniker "Etoko" (mat). As I didn't understand why Ibrahim was given that nickname, the Ambassador explained: at night, like Jesus Christ, the warlord walked on the waters of the Congo River with his mat flung over his shoulder; and right in the middle of the mighty river, he'd then unfold his mat to have a much needed warrior's rest! "They claim they've arrested the Enyeles," he told me, "have you ever seen one picture of captured Enyele? These people have nkisi [juju] powers!" Two or three days later, the Ambassador was proven wrong: the Minister of Defense, Charles Mwando Simba, and the head of army intelligence produced Ibrahim Mangbau on prime-time TV news. The man was wheeled around to be shown to journalists as a war trophy: he had a perfusion needle in his arm and his left leg was bandaged, for he had sustained a gunshot wound during his arrest. I think they purposely shot the man to put to rest the rumor of his invulnerability… But as long as Udjani, the son of the captured warlord, will remain in captivity in Congo-Brazzaville (after the hoax of his arrest by the FARDC, hoax spread a while back by Lambert Mende, the communication minister), the rumors of his being elusive and invincible will persist. And, btw, they could gun down both father and son at the Stade des Martyrs (the big football stadium built by the Chinese under Mobutu), their invincibility would remain unscathed in the minds of the Kinois so eager to cling to the most tenuous storylines of outlandish fairy tales.
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I was intrigued to see the First Lady, Maman Marie-Olive Lembe praying tearfully on TV for the atonement of the Congolese nation. She even launched a 3-day national interfaith fast (from June 26 to June 28) for everyone to cry, pray, and fast for the sins committed by the Congolese who're alleged to have wrecked their own country, a gift of the Lord… This kind of public display of religiosity was alarming to me, and I cautiously voiced this concern to some people whom I deemed weren't particularly zealous in their religiosity (most Congolese being evangelicals, they'd have branded me as a hellhound for questioning the First Lady's religious quest)…
My query opened up two strands of Radio-Trottoir narratives about the DRC first couple: A strong strand and a soft strand.
Strong Strand. For people spreading it, the Raïs is a vicious maniac—literally unhinged. They point to his changing looks: at times sporting a beard with a grey streak and dishevelled; at other times, well groomed. "A president should at all time conform with his official photograph!," I was told. The Raïs is so jealous of his power he didn't hesitate to send his henchmen after Flori Chebeya. And Maman Marie-Olive Lembe who, like Marie-Antoinette Mobutu (the first wife of the dictator), is a religious woman, was pressuring her husband to relinquish power as they have already looted the country enough. Mad at being scolded by his wife, the Raïs then beat his wife to a pulp. After the beating, he instructed a number of his bodyguards to kill and dispose of the body of the First Lady. As these bodyguards were already born-again Christians, they took the First Lady and crossed the right bank of Congo River to the neighboring capital of the other Congo, Brazzaville. In Brazzaville, President Denis Sassou Nguesso was exercised after seeing the state of the First Lady whom he promptly dispatched to South Africa for medical treatment. Denis Sassou Nguesso then played the marriage counselor between the Raïs and Marie-Olive Lembe to have them reconcile and display the body language of the perfect couple at the parade of the "Cinquantenaire"—the 50th Anniversary of Congo Independence on June 30… This strand of Radio-Trottoir follows closely the narrative of the death of Marie-Antoinette Mobutu who was allegedly beaten to death by Mobutu for the same reason: demanding that Mobutu relinquish power!
Soft Strand. People spreading this type of narratives are supporters of Joseph Kabila. My guess is that they have appropriated salient elements of the strong strand (the fight in the couple) to water them down, as they can't possibly suppress the narrative. According to this strand, the Raïs has a mistress—a " mulâtresse kinoise," people spreading it insist—he had moved to Goma to avoid problems with the First Lady. But as security became untenable in Goma (what with Nkunda and the CNDP), the Raïs then moved his girlfriend to Lubumbashi, under the close watch of Moïse Katumbi, the Governor of Katanga. When the First Lady heard about this arrangement, she put such pressure on Moïse Katumbi that the latter begged the Raïs to relieve him of such cumbersome charge. The "mulâtresse" is now in Kin… And when the First Lady heard about the new arrangement, she threw herself at the President and slapped him. This narrative always conclude with this rhetorical question: "What young couple doesn't have similar fights?"
2. UDPS Implosion qua coup d'état
I recently visited a relative of mine, who is in the higher circles of the leadership of Etienne Tshisekedi's Union pour la Démocratie et le Progrès Social (UDPS), a long-running opposition political outfit dating back from the heyday of the Mobutu regime. The man is disgruntled.
According to him, Tshisekedi aka Tshitshi is now senile and his family is issuing fatwas upon fatwas from their golden exile in Belgium in the name of the veteran opposition leader. Worse, the family wants to have one of Tshitshi's sons, Félix Tshisekedi, a "virtual illiterate" (my relative's expression), as the replacement of his father. The national wing of the party has decided to block this move by not recognizing any fatwas coming out these days from Tshitshi's family inner circle. The only valid fatwas have to come from the UDPS national Congress, the only entity entitled to do so. UDPS leaders point out that 5 of the original 13 MPs who created UDPS are alive and kicking; and the party not being a "family affair," any decision coming out of the family is null and void. And if the "illiterate" Félix Tshisekedi wants to be the head of UDPS, he has to go through the proper democratic channels: a candidacy at the Congress (and my relative tells me that the candidacy will be rejected right away as the man doesn't have any qualifications), a vote by members, and so on.
This is either an implosion or a coup d'état within the UDPS…
(Photo: Alex Engwete)
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