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Thursday, 11 August 2011

Flash Political Fiction from Kinshasa: “Uncle Nico” by RICH NGAPI (last of three-part series)

Posted on 19:43 by Unknown
Photoillustration by Barly Baruti

***

Original Title: “Oncle  Nico (III)”
By RICH NGAPI
Translated from the French by Alex Engwete

***

This is the beginning of the end. We are buckling the buckle of the political adventures of “Uncle Nico.” Lifelong but abortive candidate to the manifold governments, from Gizenga I and II, down to Muzito I, II, and soon, III. As the meeting with he who “pulls the strings” on behalf of people to the Moral Authority in high hopes of being appointed minister in the future government of the “last chance” midwifed a dud, Uncle Nico ended up disgruntled.

And yet the man was given all the assurances of the world. He’d started dreaming big. One day, he even dreamed aloud, as he crossed the very majestic Boulevard du 30 Juin. He was nearly run over by a nutty road hog, since, as he was already a minister in his head, he was crossing the boulevard in His Excellency’s gait. And all the vehicles, driving both ways on the eight lanes of the boulevard, had to stop to let him jaywalk. He didn’t give a shit, despite the rain of insults coming out of the big mouths of pissed-off drivers.

Yeah. Ever since, to politely discourage and sideline him, the “recruiter and string-puller” of the Presidential Majority had told him that ministerial positions were “services to be rendered,” Uncle Nico has become a spaced-out, overwhelmed man. He’s telling his story to whomever would care to listen. He even gives the account of his misadventures to 5-year-old kids. Yeah! Weighing his age and his experience against anything else, he didn’t deserve the treatment he got from the Presidential Majority.

The previous day, his nephew Tony, his famous personal secretary, had told his mother’s brother the story of an episode of the life of Socrates, a Greek philosopher of the 5th century BC. At 70, Socrates had to defend himself before the judges to avoid capital punishment required by his accusers. At the end of the trial, Socrates accepted the sentence philosophically. Here’s how he pleads, for example, for “non-remunerative service”:    

“And as you will not easily find another like me, I would advise you to spare me… And that I am given to you by God is proved by this: - that if I had been like other men, I should not have neglected all my own concerns, or patiently seen the neglect of them during all these years, and have been doing yours, coming to you individually, like a father or elder brother, exhorting you to regard virtue; this I say, would not be like human nature... And I have a witness of the truth of what I say; my poverty is a sufficient witness.” Uncle Nico has understood his nephew’s lesson. He stoically swallows the bitter pill. Just as Socrates swallowed hemlock.
(End)
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